The Atlantic: Thomas P. McBee: 'Men Are Socialized To Act Inhumanely'

Source:The Atlantic- The American man. 

Source:The Daily Review

"A lot of people contend that American men are in crisis. But which men? And what is the nature of that crisis? 

American men are in crisis, the conventional wisdom goes. And, according to some experts, they have been for a while. For a few decades, perhaps. Maybe for more than a century.

But in a discussion about this “crisis” on Tuesday at the Aspen Ideas Festival, which is co-hosted by the Aspen Institute and The Atlantic, panelists had varying notions of what that crisis entails, if it exists at all. For Michael Kimmel, an author and professor at SUNY Stony Brook, where he founded the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities, the crisis involves one type of man—heterosexual, white ones—who feel like their power “is slipping.” Tristan Bridges, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, agreed with Kimmel, adding that the crisis affects men who are now contending with “unchallenged entitlement.” For the writer Thomas Page McBee, the crisis involves men who are hurting in the face of society’s stereotyped expectations that they should be more inhumane than humane, more violent than empathic. For Joseph Derrick Nelson, a senior research fellow with the Center for the Study of Boys’ and Girls’ Lives, the crisis is hitting black boys who need support and the kind of unconditional love necessary to help them break free of certain damaging norms...

From The Atlantic

When I first saw the title of this video for this piece, I was expecting to hear some Far-Left radical feminist view about what's wrong with men, especially straight men and even more so straight Caucasian men. What the Far-Left just calls White boys or White males. They don't even have enough decency to refer to this group of Americans as men. But I was pleasantly surprise to hear Thomas McBee's point and what he was arguing about really was the extremes of straight men in America regarding their behavior when it comes to female relations especially in the workplace.

American boys regardless of their race or ethnicity, especially if they come from a straight two-parent family with a mother and father who are in love with each other, are raised to be men. Now, once a boy reaches puberty and starts thinking sexually it might turn out that boy is not straight and gay and there might be signs of that early on with the boy having a more feminine take on life and not interested in at least traditionally boy activities growing up like sports and other activities like that. But for most of us regardless of race or ethnicity especially if we come a starlight two-parent home we're raised to be men, meaning straight men.

American males are expected to be manly. Meaning we're expected to speak with strong voices, be sure about ourselves, at least look like we can handle ourselves physically and not to be picked on physically. Be able to handle criticism and humor about us because we're not overly sensitive, ( not including the current President of the United States ) we're expected to be into sports, interested and knowledgeable about cars, not just interested, or like women, but love women and think about them constantly and love talking to them and being around them, checking them out and everything else. We're expected to be the man of the house and lay down and enforce the rules for how our kids are supposed to behave, as well as handle the security and the home improvements of the house.

Some might argue that I'm just throwing out a lot of stereotypes out there like QB throws out a lot of balls in a two-minute drill, ( another male stereotype being that men use a lot of sports references to make their points ) but the thing about stereotypes is that there's always some truth in them or it wouldn't become a stereotype that's used over and over again by intelligent people even. As far as the gay movement has come now in America with gays even getting the right to marry each other in America, 90-95% of whether you just include outed gay men or closeted gay men, are not only straight, but we still tend to be masculine in America. There are gay men even who aren't queens and you wouldn't know right away after meeting them that they're gay.

To Thomas McBee's point about what it means to be a man and to be masculine, I agree with him. There's nothing unmanly about guys who care about other people and not just people who are related to them or are their friends or associates. There's nothing unmanly about guys hugging each other and I'm not just talking about hugging our father, grandfather, brother, uncle, cousin, etc, but guys who hug their male friends, because they love their male friends. The strong handshake plus one-arm hug that's popular now with straight men, I do that with my good buddies as well especially if I haven't seem them in a while. I have two brothers who live on the West Coast and live 3000 miles from me. Every time we see each other which isn't very often we give each other big hugs. Nothing unmanly about guys showing physical affection for each other.

At risk of sounding politically incorrect here, but I'll qualify what I'm going to say here and not just because this will probably be politically incorrect and again as a Liberal who believes in free choice and personal freedom there' nothing wrong with homosexuality and nothing immoral about it. I believe Americans have a right to be themselves and even a responsibility to be themselves regardless of who they are short of hurting innocent people with what they're doing, but being unmanly is not manly. ( To state the obvious ) Again, all Americans should be exactly who they are, but men who speak with high voices and they tend to be gay, or feel the need to use their hands move their cheeks and eyes, necks when talking, talk like valley girls, but have feminine interests and mannerisms and I'm not talking about being interested in women, but interested in what women tend to be interested in, to me at least queens aren't manly otherwise they wouldn't be queens. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's who you are. ( To use a Seinfeld line )

Again at risk of stating the obvious, you can be a straight man even and still be human. My only advice there would be to take things meaning life as they come and not to overact. Use proper analysis about what's going on and how it affects you and not to overreact to. Don't have a teen age girl moment ( again, to sound politically incorrect ) and act as if your life is over because you didn't get the job that you wanted or someone said something awful about you. I hate the term man up, so I would say be a man about life and take it for what it is which comes with a lot of highs and lows. Enjoy the highs because those are the pleasures of life, but don't view yourself as invulnerable because now you're on top. And use your lows as learning experiences and opportunities to improve. Instead of thunking your life is now over screwed up and suffered some disappointment and you'll get a lot more out of life and enjoy it a lot more. That to me is what being a man is about which is taking life for what it is and acting accordingly